Recovery Has Its Set Backs....

No one ever said recovery was going to be easy. In fact, most people who have experienced recovery will tell you it's very, very difficult. But they know it's worth it. With any life changing process you gotta take it one day at a time and once one day is over you have to put yesterday behind you. View everyday as a new day, no fuck ups and you're a new person every morning. You can't dwell on the mistakes of yesterday. Because in recovery there are going to be mistakes and set backs but you keep pushing through and you keep fighting. Because your life is something worth fighting for.

Time to get real personal...Back near the beginning of July I became very constipated and had heavy bleeding from my bum. I was also finding it difficult to breath. I was recommended kombucha and kitchari to help with my poor digestion but that didn't help it only seemed to make it worse, well the kombucha did. So despite my hatred of doctors I went to see mine. This was around early August, after going three weeks barely able to poop. The doctor attributed the shortness of breath to my anxiety, the bleeding to hemorrhoids (lovely)  and the constipated to not enough water and eating foods that don't sit well in my stomach like wheat. But just to be on the safe side she had me do some blood tests. Now this is a big deal seeing as I've never allowed blood tests before and I'm terrified on needles. Well I did it....not so bad. The point of this delightful description of my bodily issues was just background as I got to the results of my blood tests. So what's went wrong? 

I have hypothyroidism; under-active thyroid. In other words my thyroid either doesn't produce enough of the thyroid hormone necessary for digesting food or it doesn't produce any. 

What needs to be done? Now I have to do something else I don't like, taking medication. I have to take a pill which is a concentrated dose of the thyroid hormone. Luckily it's one of the lowest dosages possible. In addition to medication I am also being careful and avoiding as best as possible foods I know are harsh on my stomach like wheat and heavy fatty foods.

This diagnosis is not ideal for someone like me trying to recovery from an eating disorder. Recovery says to not focus on food and hypothyroidism says to watch what you eat. You can see how this can be a dangerous combination. Is this problem triggering? Yes. Am I going to allow myself to be triggered? No. As best as I can.

It's just about being careful, listening to your body not the eating disorder, focusing on getting better and being aware.

That's it for now!
Peace & Love,
The Punk Rock Vegan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=us83928qdMk